Avoidance

“I told my mom I was fine when she called and now I feel guilty for lying but also relieved I didn't have to explain anything.”

“I told myself I'd only check Instagram once and it's been an hour and a half.”

“I think I've been mentally checked out of this relationship for months but I don't know how to start that conversation.”

“My dad asked when I'm getting married again and I laughed it off but I thought about it the whole drive home.”

“I keep fantasizing about quitting and moving somewhere small and I've never once actually looked into what that would cost.”

“I opened his texts from two years ago again and I don't know what I'm looking for exactly.”

“My therapist asked me how I was doing and I gave her the polished version because I didn't want to get into the real version today.”

“I walked past the gym again today and I didn't go in and I've been making up a different excuse for eleven days now.”

“I keep buying things to fill my apartment and it's starting to look nice from the outside and feel the same on the inside.”

“I apologized first again even though I don't think I did anything wrong, and now I resent both of us for it.”

“I called my best friend and got her voicemail and hung up without leaving a message because I didn't know how to begin.”

“I got really quiet at dinner when they started talking about traveling and I pretended I was just tired.”

“I told my partner I wasn't upset and then gave very short answers for the rest of the night without acknowledging the contradiction.”

“The thought of going to the party makes me anxious but the thought of not going and being alone makes me more anxious.”

“I've been meaning to call my dad for three weeks and every time I think about it I find a reason to do it later.”

“I downloaded the dating app and deleted it and downloaded it again in the same evening.”

“I keep agreeing to plans and then hoping something will happen to cancel them and feeling relieved when it does.”

“I've started measuring my worth by how many messages I get in the morning and I know that's not healthy but I don't know how to stop.”

“I ate lunch alone again today and kept my headphones in so it would look intentional.”

“I wrote the apology text and deleted it four times because I want to fix it but I also want them to know how much it hurt.”

“I think I stayed in that job two years too long because I was scared and now I'm trying to figure out if that was stupid or human.”

“I've been putting off going to the doctor for something I noticed and I think I'm afraid of what having a name for it would mean.”

“I haven't cried in a long time and I'm not sure if I'm managing better or just further from myself than I used to be.”

“I sent my friend an article instead of saying what I actually wanted to say.”

“I wanted to tell him I missed him but I sent a meme instead.”

“I drove to the party, sat outside for five minutes, and went home, and I didn't tell anyone.”

“I'm scared that if I slow down I'll have to feel everything I've been running from and I don't know if I'll be able to get back up.”

“I've started leaving parties early and telling myself it's because I'm mature about my sleep and not because I can't handle small talk anymore.”

“I think about calling an old friend I hurt years ago and then I don't, and I've been doing that for long enough that it's become its own kind of answer.”